Tag: life

stream of consciousness #0013: all i do

February 3, 2012

For years my tears carried screams muffled by showered water, “I am not my father. I am not him.” I hated my given for years, not changing till i met poetry, spoken words from a friend familiar. Even still, i refuse to use my sur; i see little equity in it, this name more reminder of ancestral tarnish and pain, fatherly shadows, nothing to build upon. I’ve embraced a duality of innumerable voices bouncing around:… Read more of: stream of consciousness #0013: all i do

2012 Feb 3

Neither confession nor indictment

February 1, 2012

I want this to be neither confession nor indictment but more of a review, maybe a prospectus. So, 2011 was a tempest of a year for me. Fitting, I guess, that “tempest” has been used to describe me by a person whose life i may have inadvertently thrown for a loop; though it would be an echoed action since they had torn up mine, my head, lashed out and scarred my heart years prior. However,… Read more of: Neither confession nor indictment

2012 Feb 1

treating every encounter as if memoir material

January 28, 2012

After a recent introduction to a new clique (or maybe just a roughshod gathering of friends and friends of friends), i had a feeling, a slight tugging, that this was part of something bigger, that this Brooklyn night will end up years later across ruled parchment. Possibly the names will be changed, or, remaining intact, will only exist in a systrophic litany without fat, no delicacies for the reader to nosh upon, compelled to research… Read more of: treating every encounter as if memoir material

2012 Jan 28

slow dancing in a burning room

December 1, 2011

Life is veritably—if one believes in myths as truth, as monuments—a candle slowly, painstakingly, unbeknownst and unheralded or conspicuous, burning. Each of our predominately phallic wax statuses is ever-inching towards finality—we will come to the placeholder one day, dust, ash, wax, everything asunder. The key is to recognize the inevitable iceberg. Once approached and landed upon, we will have two choices (minimally): to dive into the depths surrounding, searching for more. Or, stricken with fear,… Read more of: slow dancing in a burning room

2011 Dec 1

noshing of Sacred Cows: a tirade, of sorts

I cannot for the life of me, even when i begin to have some thoughts of, and i cannot call it acceptance, but maybe respect or leniency (i guess) for the religious folks out there—those blind, well, maybe myopic is more respectful and giving of a word—devotees. It’s difficult to be able to latch onto Christian, especially Catholic, folks and their clan’s beliefs. The cauldron’d and served gospel poison has fully decimated and truly usurped… Read more of: noshing of Sacred Cows: a tirade, of sorts

2011 Dec 1

friends are good

February 12, 2011

Coinciding with a recent discontinuation of intimacy, i’ve been embracing and uncovering the need for close friends. A great convo the last week w/ my good, good friend @StephSwinton (kickass birthday gathering!), nudged me through the blogging door for this post. During our exchange, i remarked to her my realization that friends aren’t a bad thing. That opening up is something i’ve needed to learn to do. True opening up. Not the mirage i’ve done for… Read more of: friends are good

2011 Feb 12

i choose deaf

January 30, 2011

A few months ago, a question was posed to someone on my Twitter timeline: which would you choose?—to be blind or deaf. Allowing myself to step into existentialist and hypothetical clothing and footwear, the latter pairing of which i’d rather not do normally, i decided that if i was given the proverbial poison choice, it’d be to deafen the cacophany of reality rather than cover the visions of lives. In a quick expanse of the… Read more of: i choose deaf

2011 Jan 30