Category: personal

Some Things to Help While Dealing with Depression

March 20, 2017

Some stuff that has worked (at times) for me over the years when depression lulls hit: Throwing unnecessary things out Cleaning off one’s work desk or work area. Declutter your mind physically—try it, it helps, oddly enough Throwing out stacks of (un)read magazines and newspapers Donating books (gasp!) and clothes ya never wear (like, last time was over a year ago), unless it’s really something of value, like financially or family heirloom-esque Shit, shower, shave; basically, grooming… Read more of: Some Things to Help While Dealing with Depression

2017 Mar 20

i embody the nomad life

February 10, 2013

Even if you’ve only known me for ten minutes, let alone ten years, you will understand that i live the nomadic lifestyle–vagabond, wanderluster, constant-jaunter, etc. I love being on the move; i dislike staid or static existence. New experiences, new lands, new people are what get me going in the morning–even more so than coffee—and i LOVE coffee. Over the past year and a half, i’ve been introduced and bonded with a tertiary family: the… Read more of: i embody the nomad life

2013 Feb 10

You are not a label

April 2, 2012

I don’t mind labels. I actually like them. A label is just a sticker. It can be removed. It can be moved around. It can stay on indefinitely. Labels and categories are only measures of identification. They make things easier to sort through, to know what might occur. A label is not a scarlet letter branded into your flesh, an Auschwitz tattoo pricked into your arm. People get riled up, proclaiming, “I hate labels!” or… Read more of: You are not a label

2012 Apr 2

thoughts (on relationships) viewed as atoms

March 30, 2012

I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago my intrinsic desire to question everything…to know…to understand. With every encounter…with every conversation…with every word, i attempt to fit each item, each grain of salt into my world, into my psyche, to see if is a perfect match, or with some slight or even drastic maneuvering, it can be a compliment. I cannot fathom the idea of mental atrophy or life stagnancy. These protonic moods and… Read more of: thoughts (on relationships) viewed as atoms

2012 Mar 30

disambiguation: black is a color; Black is culture, history, music

March 27, 2012

I’ve been sitting on this piece for quite some time. It’s witnessed two Black History Months pass by, actually. After the resurgence of racial upheaval and tensions (e.g. Trayvon Martin), racist ideologies and commentary spewed forth, tipped over by yesterday’s Gawker post regarding the outrage of the Hunger Games’ casting of Black folks for—get this—Black characters, a piece indicative of a large slice of mainstream America, its pop culture and racist attitudes, i figured it… Read more of: disambiguation: black is a color; Black is culture, history, music

2012 Mar 27

Love to travel? Love me? Support Nomadness Travel Tribe Kickstarter

February 27, 2012

I love to travel. Being the ever curious one, a veritable sponge, i’ve had the bug since i was a child—always wanting to see the sites and distant lands i read about, whether fantasical or real, didn’t matter. As a kid i wasn’t presented with the opportunity to travel outside of the Tri-State often. Before i was 19 the farthest i traveled that i can recall was to DC. I believe i went once to… Read more of: Love to travel? Love me? Support Nomadness Travel Tribe Kickstarter

2012 Feb 27

marriage, oh boy; or is it, oh girl? ::shrugs::

February 16, 2012

It’s funny the way life works: growing up i learned about marriage through broken relationships, innumerable constant failed attempts—one after another—with every pairing i witnessed my family’s and friends’ of the family, and not to downplay the backdrop of the vast populace around me, or on the tube or covering magazines or spread eagle on billboards, attempts at society’s golden hallmark when it comes to courting and pairing up, procreating and rearing. The participating folks… Read more of: marriage, oh boy; or is it, oh girl? ::shrugs::

2012 Feb 16

of muses, of lovers, friends and others

In case yet said along parchment rooftops cursive or ruled awnings bold:   Women are God’s gifts laid upon Earth’s mantled soul. Born in whispers A muse is more than mere influences.   Existing in a word Living off sentences Birthing paragraphs silent Raising chapters alone Destroyer of books Standing atop volumes Queen of sounds Empress of visions Goddess of gods Breaker of hearts. She is The ultimate lover. ~m.j   Conceived as prose, transformed… Read more of: of muses, of lovers, friends and others

2012 Feb 16

i don’t like phone calls

February 15, 2012

What people don’t know or if they already know, don’t seem to fully get: i don’t like phone calls. Not any. Well, okay, let me explain that a little bit: i don’t like unsolicited phone calls. I prefer phone calls treated as if they were emails: i want to know the subject beforehand. I want to know what i’m getting into before i get on the phone. It’s like reading a book without glancing at… Read more of: i don’t like phone calls

2012 Feb 15

gotta gotta gotta write write write

February 13, 2012

Remembering why i blog, or really revisiting it, i’m determined to actually put my foot forward and to blog more often. This really has more to do with looking around at my peers or even strangers i stumble past on the Interwebs than it does with fulfilling some personal mantra. I see ’em post all the time, even if a lot of it is drivel notwithstanding since it’s still being put out there for eyes… Read more of: gotta gotta gotta write write write

2012 Feb 13

Valentine’s Day: no, i’m not a fan

Typical, a man is not a fan of Valentine’s Day. An often heard and witnessed harangue, the woe is me charade: a man who has to spend buttloads of cash and oodles of time with a significant other or sometimes-jump-off-turned-friend-with-benefits who may very well be wifey material but you haven’t given much thought, all for the prospect of some carnal pleasure. But, more importantly, it’s truly for evading the days-, weeks-, months- or maybe year-long… Read more of: Valentine’s Day: no, i’m not a fan

2012 Feb 13

Ayn Rand’s Night of January 16th

February 4, 2012

Last night i caught a showing of a play performed on campus: Ayn Rand’s The Night of January 16th. “Your life, your achievements, your happiness, your person are of paramount importance. Live up to your highest vision of yourself no matter what the circumstances you might encounter. An exalted view of self-esteem is a man’s most admirable quality.” — Night of January 16th by Ayn Rand, Definitive Edition, Introduction I loved the line, “I’m an atheist—there’s no use… Read more of: Ayn Rand’s Night of January 16th

2012 Feb 4

stream of consciousness #0013: all i do

February 3, 2012

For years my tears carried screams muffled by showered water, “I am not my father. I am not him.” I hated my given for years, not changing till i met poetry, spoken words from a friend familiar. Even still, i refuse to use my sur; i see little equity in it, this name more reminder of ancestral tarnish and pain, fatherly shadows, nothing to build upon. I’ve embraced a duality of innumerable voices bouncing around:… Read more of: stream of consciousness #0013: all i do

2012 Feb 3

Neither confession nor indictment

February 1, 2012

I want this to be neither confession nor indictment but more of a review, maybe a prospectus. So, 2011 was a tempest of a year for me. Fitting, I guess, that “tempest” has been used to describe me by a person whose life i may have inadvertently thrown for a loop; though it would be an echoed action since they had torn up mine, my head, lashed out and scarred my heart years prior. However,… Read more of: Neither confession nor indictment

2012 Feb 1

treating every encounter as if memoir material

January 28, 2012

After a recent introduction to a new clique (or maybe just a roughshod gathering of friends and friends of friends), i had a feeling, a slight tugging, that this was part of something bigger, that this Brooklyn night will end up years later across ruled parchment. Possibly the names will be changed, or, remaining intact, will only exist in a systrophic litany without fat, no delicacies for the reader to nosh upon, compelled to research… Read more of: treating every encounter as if memoir material

2012 Jan 28

my future reflected in birthmarks

January 13, 2012

Somewhere along my journeys i heard the spiritual theory that birthmarks signify how many lives one has lived—actual indicators of where one was killed previously. I would think, then, that if one was not murdered, but say had lung cancer or passed because of an heart attack, they would show up on the relative spot on the skin where said afflicted body part resided. But, that’s not important. I’m not truly sold on the violent… Read more of: my future reflected in birthmarks

2012 Jan 13

Stream of Consciousness #0008: underachieving

January 12, 2012

Even in my dreams—during the times of peace, of unconscious revery—i find myself berating my self, left with remnants once awake. The unconscious finds a way to highlight the conscious mistakes, missteps and mishaps it feels occur on a basis, if not daily, then still way too often. Waking up in a state of anger, or with vexation and annoyance, or with any tidbit of beguiling angst because of visions and memories elusive, are not… Read more of: Stream of Consciousness #0008: underachieving

2012 Jan 12

my individualist manifesto, of sorts—more a personal declaration

January 10, 2012

Here lie meandering thoughts along pathways unlaid by others, but known to me nonetheless My goal in life, my destiny (eh), if you will, is to be a bastion, a paragon, the utmost shining example of an individualist—to continue the lionization of individuality and individualism. This is my individualist manifesto, of sorts. Apparently, i scream uniqueness, wearing it across my face—metal-pierced flesh—and smeared along my skin as tattooed pain. My aura, actions and mindset together… Read more of: my individualist manifesto, of sorts—more a personal declaration

2012 Jan 10

Roadmap for 2012

January 6, 2012

Driver’s license—yes, making strides so ensure it’s a reality this year: started looking up driving schools in my neighborhood. Contemplating doing a coast to coast road trip, and I want to be able to contribute more than just gas and tolls with whomever joins me lol. Even thinking about creating a new site (or tumblr) to document it: videos, photos, the whole shebang. Gonna see what happens. Vision board—going to attempt this on my wall (i have… Read more of: Roadmap for 2012

2012 Jan 6

Personal Book Embargo

December 22, 2011

I have to do this. It’s a necessary evil, a vital push towards chopping down this never-ending tree that sprouts books as fruit. I need to do this. Mantra! Lol. For 2012, i’ve decided to place an embargo on my book purchasing—with two caveats: one, i have six get out of jail free cards, which allow me to purchase only six books throughout the year, mandatory school books excluded; and two, receiving a book as… Read more of: Personal Book Embargo

2011 Dec 22

i need to live my life how i was born

December 17, 2011

Since the advent of time, and not just the clock, but the breaking down of days based on night- and daylight, we as humankind have attempted to chronicle and forecast our lives, daily, weekly, yearly, etc., in an attempt, i believe, to quantify and give stock to our ephemeral existences. We want to maximize (or minimize) the quests we undertake, the pastimes in which we induldge, the time spent with and the number of family,… Read more of: i need to live my life how i was born

2011 Dec 17

i told a stranger

December 8, 2011

Several months ago, i told a stranger of my continued loss of affection for New York̬how i couldn’t wait to leave. Except, i’d probably have to stay—it would be the smart thing to do, financially and professionally—for a few more years, at least. I’ll admit, she wasn’t really a stranger, actually, but might as well have been since we only knew each other from a class the previous semester, having bartered only some sentences over… Read more of: i told a stranger

2011 Dec 8

an introduction to Mental Ephemera

I had totally forgotten about this post, written almost in its entirety during January. It was supposed to be the new About page, but clearly that didn’t happen. I think this post is an awesome appendage to the current About, which is more about its author, since it works as an introduction to Mental Ephemera as a whole. So, without further ado: I figured i’d address some things. Once i end my hiatus in 2012,… Read more of: an introduction to Mental Ephemera

2011 Dec 8

weird, random sh*t i want to buy–a wishlist of sorts

December 7, 2011

My random mind spews out, becomes infatuated with, and utterly boggles the bejesus out of me with its various desires. Usually, though, they’re not just ephemeral, pleasure-only seeking gadgets or trinkets, but actually worthwhile products or investments as i’d like all my purchases to be. Too many times i purchase short-lasting balms (e.g. alcohol and food) rather than long-lasting tools. A Folding Bicycle I don’t drive. Don’t even have a learner’s permit. So i walk… Read more of: weird, random sh*t i want to buy–a wishlist of sorts

2011 Dec 7

not too long ago i had a paltry $3.11 to my name

December 1, 2011

The week of August 9th 2010, I had $3.11 in my bank account. My savings accounts totaled around the same. The bills in my pocket were a tad over $10, and my business account was a goose egg. I was a financial mess. And it’s not like i was unemployed or was stuck in a mediocre, under-paying gig; i was, unfortunately like many of my peers, foolish beyond belief, possibly more so than them. See,… Read more of: not too long ago i had a paltry $3.11 to my name

2011 Dec 1